Fighting for the Wrong Thing: -1 NYC & PHL

so apparently the thing to do now is rally against bicyclists, which you would assume is something only done in a utopian society.

nyc

yes it's true that efforts to remove bike lanes in brooklyn aren't that big of a deal, considering that awesome new greenway that is extending down kent ave. thing is awesome, with bike lanes going in both directions and parking separating pedestrians and bicyclists from the road way.

however, i gotta say the number of mini vans and buses and pedestrians that encroach on that bike lane in the hasidic neighborhood is kind of intense. but it's their neighborhood for sure.

is that bike lane necessary? could it be lived without? well yes, i mean of course. but it shouldn't have to be that way.

phl

it's also kind of crazy that in philadelphia (perhaps because bike lanes have been devouring parking on pine and spruce sts., and some bicyclists decided committing bicycular homicide is totally acceptable) they're now really bringing down the hammer.

anyways, philadelphia police are starting to completely destroy the meaning of what it means to ride a bicycle. and it's kind of laughable.

and i'm sure this will hit delivery men & messengers hardest, those most likely to go the wrong way on a one-way street or run lights, etc. but heck, i do all those things sometimes too.

biking has always been just a big game, until somebody got hurt.

Doctors' Office Waiting Rooms: -1 New York

A redundancy in this city I've noticed is the difficulty of making appointments. This includes reservations, interviews, and yes, doctor's appointments.

Not only are the good ones booked for months at a time, generally resulting in the agreement to see the doctor's assistant, but once you get there, you've still got a long way to go.

Just like in the famous Jerry Seinfeld bit, when your name is finally called, contain your excitement. You're not going to see the doctor. No. You're going to the smaller waiting room where you'll be waiting for at least another 40 minutes.

That 40 minutes is spent stuck inside one's own head: Have they forgotten about me? How much longer am I going to be trapped in this little room? What is that thing for? Are they going to use that on me? Should I take my clothes off?

And then they knock. They don't even wait for your answer. They just come barging in. Jesus, let me readjust this humiliating piece of paper you call a gown!

-1 NYC: Just read the article...

so I decided instead of doing the obvious of chalking up a -1 NYC for each Yankee loss, an unrelated subject should stand here in its stead.

i came across the following ny times article on bco:


park slope food co-op

i'm not sure whether to be more upset at the lady who wrote the article, the people that belong to the co-op, or just the entire idea of the whole thing.


"we get it lady. you are a poet. go spray water on the produce." -- poster on bco


also please refer to amazing illustration that accompanied that article.

Neutral Post

it seems that now everyone thinks this debate is good writing fodder.

it was really a no-brainer all along folks.

inky article

NYC vs. PHL Pt. 3

things are heating up

NYC vs. PHL Pt. 2

I hope you're packing, Jon.

NYC vs. PHL

Yes it's true.

The winner of this year's World Series will determine what city I permanently reside in.


May the best city win...

IQ: +1 Philly

The Daily Beast ranked America's cities based on IQ.
Gosh - I wonder who ranked higher, Philadelphia or New York? That's right - Yours Truly, PA. Sure it was only by two points, but the point is, we're smarter.

Proof, along with a series of pretty pictures to accompany the ranking of various cities.


(Side note: poor Fresno.)

TV: -1 NYC

On the latest CSI: NY which I just publicly admitted watching, a couple NEW YORKERS KILL A PHILADELPHIAN.
Where's the love, guys? I know you're all wishing that you lived here instead of there, but why you gotta kill us to make it happen? We have room! We can work this out!

Jobs: +1 Philly, -1 Philly

Andy got a job, not just in the city of Philadelphia but with the City of Philadelphia!




















Marisa still did not, but what's new?

While we're at it, can we talk about how great the seal is? Apparently, we love women, navy signs, vegetables, justice and making sure to reflect the large African American population on the flag in case anyone was wondering if there were any here. (Answer: Yes.) It might as well just say, "PHL > NYC." But I think that's inferred.

A Man's Image: +1 Philly

Because in Philly they can only make you look as good as you let them.

Philly Has to Come Here to See Shit: +1 New York

It looks like there's going to be a Pavement reunion in September 2010, Central Park SummerStage.

I'm only assuming you care.

Lutz: +1 New York

I just saw Jon Lutz (aka J.D. Lutz) from 30 Rock...

... walking around 30 Rock in the concourse.

It was pretty surreal.

Boyz II Men: +1 Philly

Go ahead and tell me you don't love this song.
Just try.

Street Signs: +1 Philly

A Philadelphia Haiku:

At least we know how
to put numbers on our street
signs. Trust me - it helps.

International: +1 New York

The other night, at my friend's parents' apartment in Stockholm, I was offered a slice of cake by a model. And by model, I mean her sister's boyfriend, impeccably dressed as if he were ready to go yachting. A piece of his side-swept blond hair fell in front of his handsome and very tanned face as he smirked and suggested:

"An American-sized portion for you, then."

Damn straight.

Seriously though, I have found that the only redeeming factor I have with most Europeans is the fact that I live in New York. It is the only city they find as acceptable, if not more so, than their own.

Ironic, I thought, as I watched him swirl his red wine before smelling it and taking a sip, clearly rewarding himself for his insightful wit. He is just as ignorant and arrogant as the stereotyped American attitude he is so disdainful of.

* UPDATE: I forgot to mention that the grandfather, didn't speak English to me at all until he found out I lived in New York. He strung together some sentences, basically telling me that Woody Allen and Larry David are his personal heros, and that he saw "Whatever Works" twice, in theaters. Maybe, I thought, this man is my hero.

Money: -1 Philly

Our poor little city is broke.
And our poor little pool is closed.

















Sigh.

Cheaper Flights: +1 New York

Flying internationally (nationally, even) out of Philly sucks. Other than the fact that it's way more expensive, my only memories of the Philadelphia Airport are family trips to Florida, dressed in windbreakers, pleated khaki shorts, and Disney visors.

Plus, just look how fucking glamorous JFK is:

Quality of Life: +1 PHL

Moving from Philadelphia to New York has afforded me a unique perspective on the quality of life experienced in both. After a recent trip back to the big cheesesteak, my first since moving to NYC, a few things became painfully apparent.

Playing tennis... is sooooo easy in Philadelphia. I can access 8 courts for free within a 15 minute bike ride and it's unlikely I'll have to wait. In NYC, it would go down something like, I pay $100 for a permit (even though the season is half over) and wait at least an hour at a court in downtown Brooklyn or Manhattan. Or pay $7 an hour. Hey maybe tennis can be an urban sport after all!

Swimming freely... as there is an abundance of chlorinated municipal real estate in Philly. Granted, the Red Hook pool looks amazing from the outside. But it is regularly packed to the gills is perfect. By my estimation, it is easy to happen upon a half empty pool in PHL to have all to yourself. However, this will most like become an unreality as Nutter has threatened to close all pools, libraries, etc. during the crisis mode budget.

Eating fresh vegetables... because they come from your own garden. Yes, even with a crummy food service job it is possible to acquire arable land in your little concrete corner of the world, and harvest edible food! We just grilled up some huge eggplants, and boy were they yummy. And still a few dozen plump tomatoes and other veggies on the way. Not to mention throwing some fresh basil on a slice of Tacconelli's.

State tax... just went up AGAIN in New York. On a recent ride up with a friend, he realized last moment that he needed to purchase cheaper liquor down in the keystone. I then suggested he should probably get a carton of ciggies too. $110 spent rather quickly, but also ~$60 saved.

UPDATE:
Laundry... well, I think you get the idea.

I couldn't really find an appropriate picture, but I think this one of a happy dog from the region will do:

"The Peoples Beach": +1 New York

Well the Philly kids have already been there, so duh it's awesome. But I figured it should be recorded for posterity. Plus, I'm headed there, like, in two minutes. Srsly. I'm hooked.

Jacob Riis Park rules because of the following:

- Very little commercial space- just a concession stand for the

necessities.

- You can bring a cooler of beer.

- The gays know how to party, even when it rains, briefly, as it did when we went there.

- The eastern part, Bay 1 and Bay 2, has a topless section. Holy boobs!

- It's easy to forget you are in New York City.

- Queens is slowly beginning to reveal its awesomeness to me, finally, after 5 years of living here.

- The original Riis originally opened the beach because he sympathized with the "plight of the poor." Wow.

- It's everything Coney is not.

Pennsylvania: +1 Philly

I am the result of a mixed marriage. My mom hails from upstate New York, and my dad from central Pennsylvania. I would like to state that I love both of my parents equally but there is so much more going on in the rest of PA compared to the rest of NY. Sure, both places have beautiful nature settings and great lake access and some crazy people that think Obama isn't a US citizen. But PA has all those things AND it doesn't get unnecessarily cold in the winter time.

To list all of the positive things about the state would take way more than I have space for here. And sure you may be saying, yeah he has family in NY but he grew up in PA, of course that's where his prejudice would lay. To that I say how.dare.you. Sure, I may only see NY for 1 of the 52 weeks a year, but I think I have a handle on what its all about. When I think of New York I think of this ridiculous city in the lower right corner, and then a bunch of Native Americans surrounding it just kinda being pissed at how screwed they've been.

Proximity: +1 Philly, +.5 NYC

One of the best parts about being on the Eastern Shoreboard is the proximity to an array of cities that this offers you. Megalopolis indeed. Philadelphia, being the more central of the two cities in question here, is obviously superior, since it is closer to a larger number of cities, namely DC, Baltimore and, yes, New York City. Its nice be able to get away from your own city every once in a while, and the NYC - PHL trip has proven to be suprisingly fast and easy. With that in mind, the Philadelphians of this blog are sucking it up and seeing the New Yorkers this weekend. The persons traveling should be noted because - with the exception of Lauren, who kind of had to visit Jon when he lived here every once in a while - though I have been to NYC a minimum of five times this year the number of New Yorkers that have visited me is exactly: zero.
(Looking at you, David Gwilliam.)

Proving once again that Philadelphians are simply better people than New Yorkers.

Can't wait to see you kids.

Philly Boy Roy: +1 Philly

There can never be enough SEPTA jokes

Schuylkill Path: +1 Philly

When A left the other day to betray both New York and Philly for a dalliance with Lancaster, I decided to take the long way home and bike down the Schuylkill Path. Going from the city out to the burbs all the way to Reading, the Path may be one of my favorite places in the city, in large part because its just so god damn fun to ride, not to mention that it surrounds you with green on one side and water on the other (large amass of cars and other bikers/runners/walkers notwithstanding). There was the mysterious and vaguely-torturesque sounding "24-hour Cross Country Race" going on that day, which hurt even my former XCer sensibilities, but once I got past that chaos (all centralized 'round about Boathouse Row, which should get its own little adorable note later) it was serenely quiet. I found a little bench under some trees up somewhere closer to Manayunk (ish) that overlooked the water and, if you were turned the right way so you couldn't see all the people going by behind you, felt like a completely separate universe, with no people or distractions for miles. My book and I hung out there for a while, and as a country girl who sometimes needs to get back to her roots, it was verging on bliss*.



















* (Detractions included: inability to swim/properly sunbathe.)

Semi-Impromptu McCartney Rooftop Performance: +1 NYC

Don't look worried Paul, it's only New York!

After all, this city was home to your most beloved first wife.

Granted, this city was proclaimed "the new center of the world after Rome" by your songwriting partner, a city where it's possible that "Life Begins at 40," yet where it may also come to a sudden end.

For all these reasons, it makes it all the more bad ass and all the more rock n' roll that you decided it would be cool to give a seven song set in midtown Manhattan.

Maybe the entire crowd was generated by text messages and blog posts, and maybe that's why no one knew the words.

But in reality, it didn't matter what songs were played. There has never been a better reason to leave work early. I couldn't help but think I felt a tinge of what those puzzled Liverpudlians experienced over 40 years ago on Savile row.

In fact I've dreamed of such a scenario in the past, so it isn't any wonder that afterwards when I had a few beers and slept on the whole experience I had to ask myself If I hadn't just dreamt the whole thing over again.

And yet on that midsummer's evening, I couldn't help but think that all the words sung and all the winks exchanged were just for me...

(well and maybe lauren & dan too...)



===\/\/===

Monsters of Podcasting: +1 Philly

So the only noticeable donation I've ever given was to maximumfun.org and Jesse Thorn for all the work he does. I love the podcasts Jordan, Jesse Go! and The Sound of Young America. They have introduced me to a bunch of movies, music and comedians before my friends. This allows me to gloat when they find out about a thing and I try to tell them how I knew about it literally days earlier.

Now, the shows are usually done out of LA but Jesse is taking it to the East Coast for a few dates in Philly and New York. Both places are getting a live version of The Sound of Young America, Jesse's interview/young hip version of Fresh Air. But only Philly is getting a live taping of the Monster's of Podcasting. Totally going to go to this before checking out The Hooters later in the noight.

L & B Spumoni Gardens: +1 NYC

l & b
Originally uploaded by themalkmoose

Maybe few things can ever live up to our expectations, as in what we exactly envision a person, place or thing to be. Such is the case with Spumoni Gardens in Bay Ridge. Maybe I expected it to be a green, verdant paradise with elves that serve pizza out of a thatched wooden hut and coca cola that flows from a garden hose.

Maybe instead, Spumoni Gardens is just an outdoor concrete patio with red picnic furniture, fenced in with an iron gate and half covered by a plastic tent.

Maybe instead, the pizza is served by people that just want to go home (after all this place is open until midnight). But that pizza happens to be amazing, a square with melted cheese underneath amazing sauce topped with a whole ton of melted parmesan.

Plus they have homemade spumoni (italian ice cream with fruits/nuts) and alcohol if you are willing to eat in the fancier restaurant half of the gardens.

A nice can of soda rounds out the experience, and is easily recycled in the giant blue plastic tubs provided for your convenience.

Rumor has it that my dad's cousin once owned L & B. Wait ... maybe Spumoni Gardens is starting to blow away my expectations.

Drew Barrymore Likes Brooklyn: -1/+1 New York

I'm neutral because I hate celebrities, but I enjoy their relentless display of human frailty.

Saturday night, while bowling at a new wind-powered (ya.) bowling alley in Brooklyn, my friend leans over and whispers, "Look who's bowling next to us."

That cute little girl with the lisp from E.T. and the Mac dude.

A natural gawker, I keenly observed:

- Justin slapping Drew's ass as she went up to bowl.

- Drew jumping up and straddling him while they proceeded to make out like high schoolers.

- The DJ, fucking with her, played a couple Strokes songs in a row (she used to date Fabrizio, DUH!). Cue squealing, dancing, and some more making out.

- Outside in the smoking alley, the Mac dude was discussing being famous with his friend. Yup.

- Drew, most likely looking to make out some more, was escorted into the alley (you weren't allowed to walk out there in the rented bowling shoes, so she shuffled out wearing what appeared to be blue plastic bags tied up with string) looking meek and desperate for some more attention.

- A friend of mine told Drew that she watched Never Been Kissed the other day, stoned, to which Drew replied (and by replied, I mean yelled) "I want to be stoned right now!".

- Following this declaration (I'm sure easily fulfilled, should she snap her fingers to her entourage), she launched into a rant about her troubled teenage years, transferring high schools and being generally embarrassed about her career.

Sounds like anyone at a bar... drunk... ever.

They can suck it, anyway. I will shamelessly say that I stood in front of Steve Buscemi (dressed to kill in the exact same shirt that Rocko wore) on the F train once, and that's all the celebrity interaction I'll ever need.

Even MORE Friends: +Another 1 Philly

Yet ANOTHER Skid Kid is moving to Philly! By the end of the summer, 4 of my top gals from the London crew will be here.
Suck it, New York - Philly is the New New York.


















(From my 2006 visit to Greensboro, NC from whence this gal is coming.)

BEER ISLAND: New York +1

Um need I say more?

Ok fine. Basically it's a parking lot in Coney Island where they came in with dump trucks of sand and some picnic tables.

It's kind of where I want to go when I die. Annnnd when fellow bloggers Andy and Marisa come visit.

The Station Cafe: NYC +1

Queens, NYC has always been uncharted territory for me. A fine introduction to this borough is the Station Cafe, noisily located underneath the 7 elevated subway line in Woodside.

So right off the bat it looks like you're in a scene from the French Connection. Anyways, the bar clearly hasn't changed in the ?? years that it's been there. Faded 90's era NYC posters adorn the walls, and a billiards table and photo hunt machine lurk in the shadows. Although they may only have Bud, Guinness and various liquor to drink, the bartender Tony is easily the most hospitable bartender in the city, nay possibly the country. Free shots are usually the special around 10pm. Ordering 2 beers will often getting you a third on the house without asking.

Old men often line the bar, some falling asleep. Story has it that a man once almost fell off his stool, and Tony patiently told him in his thick Irish accent "You can fall asleep at my bar, but for godsakes don't fall off of it."

Indeed it is said that the Station Cafe is 100% without a doubt a morning bar. It's sparsely populated at night, but packed to the gills around 7am. And although it may be a cafe, there certainly isn't any food to be had. But not to worry, as underneath the 7 train lies countless good cheap restaurants and food trucks - something that Queens can always be counted on for.

Pools: +1 Philly

Due to the killer economy we live in these days, Philly had to close a bunch of pools. Fortunately, not all of them, and fortunately not the Marian Anderson Rec Center at 17th and Catharine.
First of all, Marisa loves pools. Marisa will go anywhere where there is water and get in (provided its not the Schuykill). So Marisa is pretty willing to forgive any pool a grievance if she can get in, provided it doesn't feel like a bathtub. This pool, though, is pretty fantastic. Its not perfect, but..

Pros:
- Its clean.
- Its quiet (so far).
- Its filled with kids who either: a) do the Thriller dance in the water and then get mad at you for noticing or b) are 11 years old with tattoos on their hands but need a guardian to watch them when they swim.

- Its divided in half so the kids stay on one side and the adults on the other.
- Its pretty cold (+10 for me).
- It has a break for "family time" which is just adorable.

Cons:
- You can't sit on the side or bring your stuff past the fence
- Its not in my backyard. I have to walk a whole SIX BLOCKS from A's. Atrocious.

Epic Subway Handoff: +1 New York

I ordered a tension shower caddy for the new bathroom and it was delivered to work.

Due to the fact that I needed to go out and buy dishes after work, the damn box was too heavy and bulky to function with. So of course, Jon "I always think of others before myself" Carrelli came to meet me at the turnstiles at my work to take the box back to Brooklyn.

And I must say, with no cell phone reception except one phone call as the train was above ground, and only the directions "meet me at the front-end-of-the-train exit at Rockefeller Center", I stood there worried that this transaction would fail miserably.

A train came and went, along with a flood of people up the stairs. And lo and behold, a few seconds later here comes Jon, with that bounce in his step, heading right for the turnstile I was standing in front of.

After a brief exchange of said bulky box and half an avocado/goat cheese sandwich, I have come to the conclusion that Jon will make a damn fine New Yorker.

Friends: +1 Philly

All of my college friends keep moving here. Keep it up, Philly!

Bicycling-based Activities: +1 Philly

In chronological order:

1. Kensington's Kinetic Sculpture Derby
























2. Manayunk's Bike Race



















3. The TBRidden Bicycle Booze Cruise





















We Philadelphians love our bicycles. Its a big enough city that a bike is advisable, but not so big that its daunting (coughnewyorkcough). The road right next to my house (!) has big bike lanes. But that's not the point of this post; A can handle that later. Rather, this is about the fun ways Philly appreciates its biking culture. There are hundreds more things - Critical Mass, the Pretzel Factory ride, some Scavenger Hunt thing I ran into last year at Clark Park where the basin was full of bikes and everyone was getting drunk during breaks - but these are the three recent activities (minus that last one, which is next weekend, but come on, how fun is that) that reminded me why I love Philly and I love bikes and Philly loves bikes and bikes love Philly.

Because they're so fun and they make a really cool noise when they ride by in packs really fast, that's why.

People Steal Your Shit: -1 NYC

So, my wallet was either lost or stolen last night. To make my story sound more interesting, let's say it was stolen.

After 2+ glasses of wine at Central Filing, I headed downtown to my dance class. I remember swiping into the subway, but when I got to the studio... gone.

The guy at the front desk gave me $2.50 to get home (+.5 NYC). So it could have been worse, the precious life-force (aka iPhone) could have been stolen. But I have one of those EasyPay metrocards that are linked to your debit. Fuckers only work during business hours so I couldn't cancel it. Since it's linked, it has unlimited swipes, charging your checking account. Fuck. Wait time today to talk to someone is +25 minutes.

Jon is a Loose Cannon Blogger: Actually -1 NYC

Because he's moving there, remember?

Jon is a Loose Cannon Blogger: -1 Philly

Fight Songs: +1 Philly

http://www.the700level.com/2008/04/sixers-song-1.html

I can't say this song makes me want to watch a 76ers game or even try to remember what sport its referring to (.......basketball? jury's out), but this is fantastically 70's and catchy and repeats the word "Philadelphia" multiple times, which is all I really need.
Just try and resist it.
Clap your haaaaaaands, everybody. For Philadelphia. [Some sports team.]

Red Hook Ball Fields: +1 New York

Jon's birthday party 8/09:

And we won't wait 30 minutes to get in the water. We live dangerously.

Since Red Hook is completely unaffordable to the common man, I think it's important that we take advantage of its perks as much as possible. Meaning fresh ceviche, grilled corn, and a free fucking pool.

-1 philly / + 1 philly

so i guess i'll kick this off here...

MCGLINCHEY'S (June 14th into June 15th, 2009)

sunday night at mcglinchey's eric and i had the dishonor of someone engaging in a conversation with us about eric's skateboard. somehow the conversation devolved into him talking about the neighborhood he grew up in degrading, and asking us repeatedly "i know who's responsible, do you?".

dude was basically trying to get us to be racist with him and later started this conversation with other black people in the bar who became irate and disgusted with him. the bartender dave mentioned something about not being jerry springer and declared last call.

however, positive points for mcglinchey's include the only menu item chili dogs, the honeycomb beer mugs, the owner's son who has a 20-alarm hot sauce behind the counter and smoking indoors.

other fine moments include my fellow employee tipping $8.50 on two hot dogs and us being treated like kings for the rest of the night.

i'd say this night puts philly down one point due to the harshness of the phillies wearin' curly mulleted racist.

LOCAL 44 (June 9th, 2009)

i walk in with sam only to find that there's nowhere to sit at the bar. however, two seats open up and the others next to them tell us to sit down. of course the two people who were sitting there get into a row with them for giving up their seats.

turns out they did that because they're annoying. one dude was trying to convince us to take care of his pit bull that needs lots of attention and proceeded to show us photographs.

however two dudes from birmingham, alabama living in philly that are in porn post-production roll up. they remind me a bit of the flight of the conchords, although i guess anyone could if they have those thick glasses. guys are super awesome and recommend good non-porn movies and share cigarettes.

we talk about the ridiclous $1 special on a 9.6% abv barley wine and that there's a two per person limit. andy rolls up and the special ends. boooo. but then we order the fries. yeaaaaa! which are delicious.

overall i would say +1 for philly on the cheap, good food and beer as well as the interesting cast of characters at the bar.

so i guess this post puts philly back at 0.