I just recalled this blog today and realized it was a completely fruitless battle hahahah.

Fun a day, 1st week.

March 1, 2010

“A wife must have three great attributes: intelligence, a swiss army knife, and charm.

March 2, 2010

“My favorite color is florescent beige.”

March 3, 2010

“If I could be a backstreet lurker, I’d make more money, and have more fun.”

March 4, 2010

“No matter how we scorn it, kitsch is an integral part of the human condition.”

March 5, 2010

“To the death of Irony!”

March 6, 2010

“In the first moment of waking up she knows she's losing it”

March 7, 2010

“This was my sarcastic summer. It was only long after that I recognized sarcasm as the protest of people who are weak.”

March 8, 2010

“There's a compelling frictionlessness about the local TV reporters, all of whom have short blond hair and vaguely orange makeup. A vividness. I keep feeling a queer urge to vote for them for something.”

+1 Marisa: Messenger Bags

A got me a bag for Xmas. I got to design it. Thanks, Lauren, vicariously!

PHL = NYC

Despite what was previously inferred, Pavement's coming to Philly too.

Day 2

+1 PHL: Fun-a-Day

There is probably a rip-off of this in NYC, but a group in Philly started Fun-a-Day a couple years ago. Every day for the month of January a bunch of people do an art project every day, and then sometime around mid-February there is a show in a local gallery (these days usually Studio 34). Its always really fun and interesting to see what people come up with. Like drawings of noses.

Anyway, this is all to say that A&M, though a couple months late, are doing our own Fun-a-Day. And we're going to post them here just to prove how awesome we are. Here's the deal: each day someone picks a quote and we each have to make something from it. A's doing photography with his new fancy camera and M is making postcards from her vast collection of artsy bullshit.

DAY 1: "A wife must have 3 great attributes: intelligence, a swiss army knife and charm."

Brooklyn Apartments that are Too Fucking Nice: +1 NYC

stock photo from apartment therapy.

I was really hungover yesterday. Like, I want to go back to my bed in my family's house hungover. Either that, or I could go to a really decadent apartment. A friend was co-hosting a cocktail party. Yes, more drinking. Yet, Carroll Gardens ... I was intrigued.

It paid off. It was pulchritudinous (looked that one up). There were lots of candles. There was beautiful wood. It was warm. There were hors d'œuvres (looked that one up too). Well-proportioned cocktails were handed to me by the co-host. The conversation was pleasant.

It was disgusting. It was perfect. I didn't feel the need to go home anymore; I was practically there.

Kenny Kramer/Larry David: +1 NYC

Larry David would not be Larry David without New York City.

Could an angry, paranoid man without any balls exist in any other city? I fully believe his behavior would be unacceptable anywhere else (case in point: Larry in LA, duh). To give you some background on Larry and Kenny's very special relationship, the two met in a government subsidized building for performing artists in Hell's Kitchen in the 70's. For, what was it, $67/month, the two of them lived across the hall from one another, while pursuing their dreams of becoming stand up comedians. Larry, arguably succeeded, and Kenny... not so much.

Larry, the "comedian's comedian" finally caved and went into sitcom writing, partnering up with Jerry Seinfeld. Larry typically used real names of people he knew from New York, with the exception of the running joke of Art Vandelay, used in different forms throughout the series. Thankfully for everyone, Kenny Kramer made the cut and Michael Richards was cast for the role (to Kenny's deep disappointment).

Kenny figured, "Hell, I might as well capitalize on the success of this show, since my name was used." So, he started the Kenny Kramer Reality Tour, which was ultimately parodied on Seinfeld as the "J. Peterman Reality Tour". It's probably not worth elaborating on that statement. If you don't know anything about J. Peterman, I probably don't have much to talk to you about anyway.

Kenny has been running the tour for 15 years and still going strong.

Thanks to very perceptive sisters, I scored a reservation (in the form of a Christmas present) for two for this past Saturday. And let me say, it was a total dream. The only disappointments were that it wasn't in a school bus and there weren't pizza bagels or mini musketeers. But, I got a Vandelay Industries bumper sticker signed by Kenny, so I'm satisfied with $37.50 well-spent.

P.S. Can you spot Jon/me in the group photo?

Fighting for the Wrong Thing: -1 NYC & PHL

so apparently the thing to do now is rally against bicyclists, which you would assume is something only done in a utopian society.

nyc

yes it's true that efforts to remove bike lanes in brooklyn aren't that big of a deal, considering that awesome new greenway that is extending down kent ave. thing is awesome, with bike lanes going in both directions and parking separating pedestrians and bicyclists from the road way.

however, i gotta say the number of mini vans and buses and pedestrians that encroach on that bike lane in the hasidic neighborhood is kind of intense. but it's their neighborhood for sure.

is that bike lane necessary? could it be lived without? well yes, i mean of course. but it shouldn't have to be that way.

phl

it's also kind of crazy that in philadelphia (perhaps because bike lanes have been devouring parking on pine and spruce sts., and some bicyclists decided committing bicycular homicide is totally acceptable) they're now really bringing down the hammer.

anyways, philadelphia police are starting to completely destroy the meaning of what it means to ride a bicycle. and it's kind of laughable.

and i'm sure this will hit delivery men & messengers hardest, those most likely to go the wrong way on a one-way street or run lights, etc. but heck, i do all those things sometimes too.

biking has always been just a big game, until somebody got hurt.

Doctors' Office Waiting Rooms: -1 New York

A redundancy in this city I've noticed is the difficulty of making appointments. This includes reservations, interviews, and yes, doctor's appointments.

Not only are the good ones booked for months at a time, generally resulting in the agreement to see the doctor's assistant, but once you get there, you've still got a long way to go.

Just like in the famous Jerry Seinfeld bit, when your name is finally called, contain your excitement. You're not going to see the doctor. No. You're going to the smaller waiting room where you'll be waiting for at least another 40 minutes.

That 40 minutes is spent stuck inside one's own head: Have they forgotten about me? How much longer am I going to be trapped in this little room? What is that thing for? Are they going to use that on me? Should I take my clothes off?

And then they knock. They don't even wait for your answer. They just come barging in. Jesus, let me readjust this humiliating piece of paper you call a gown!

-1 NYC: Just read the article...

so I decided instead of doing the obvious of chalking up a -1 NYC for each Yankee loss, an unrelated subject should stand here in its stead.

i came across the following ny times article on bco:


park slope food co-op

i'm not sure whether to be more upset at the lady who wrote the article, the people that belong to the co-op, or just the entire idea of the whole thing.


"we get it lady. you are a poet. go spray water on the produce." -- poster on bco


also please refer to amazing illustration that accompanied that article.

Neutral Post

it seems that now everyone thinks this debate is good writing fodder.

it was really a no-brainer all along folks.

inky article

NYC vs. PHL Pt. 3

things are heating up

NYC vs. PHL Pt. 2

I hope you're packing, Jon.

NYC vs. PHL

Yes it's true.

The winner of this year's World Series will determine what city I permanently reside in.


May the best city win...

IQ: +1 Philly

The Daily Beast ranked America's cities based on IQ.
Gosh - I wonder who ranked higher, Philadelphia or New York? That's right - Yours Truly, PA. Sure it was only by two points, but the point is, we're smarter.

Proof, along with a series of pretty pictures to accompany the ranking of various cities.


(Side note: poor Fresno.)

TV: -1 NYC

On the latest CSI: NY which I just publicly admitted watching, a couple NEW YORKERS KILL A PHILADELPHIAN.
Where's the love, guys? I know you're all wishing that you lived here instead of there, but why you gotta kill us to make it happen? We have room! We can work this out!

Jobs: +1 Philly, -1 Philly

Andy got a job, not just in the city of Philadelphia but with the City of Philadelphia!




















Marisa still did not, but what's new?

While we're at it, can we talk about how great the seal is? Apparently, we love women, navy signs, vegetables, justice and making sure to reflect the large African American population on the flag in case anyone was wondering if there were any here. (Answer: Yes.) It might as well just say, "PHL > NYC." But I think that's inferred.

A Man's Image: +1 Philly

Because in Philly they can only make you look as good as you let them.

Philly Has to Come Here to See Shit: +1 New York

It looks like there's going to be a Pavement reunion in September 2010, Central Park SummerStage.

I'm only assuming you care.