Brooklyn Apartments that are Too Fucking Nice: +1 NYC

stock photo from apartment therapy.

I was really hungover yesterday. Like, I want to go back to my bed in my family's house hungover. Either that, or I could go to a really decadent apartment. A friend was co-hosting a cocktail party. Yes, more drinking. Yet, Carroll Gardens ... I was intrigued.

It paid off. It was pulchritudinous (looked that one up). There were lots of candles. There was beautiful wood. It was warm. There were hors d'œuvres (looked that one up too). Well-proportioned cocktails were handed to me by the co-host. The conversation was pleasant.

It was disgusting. It was perfect. I didn't feel the need to go home anymore; I was practically there.

Kenny Kramer/Larry David: +1 NYC

Larry David would not be Larry David without New York City.

Could an angry, paranoid man without any balls exist in any other city? I fully believe his behavior would be unacceptable anywhere else (case in point: Larry in LA, duh). To give you some background on Larry and Kenny's very special relationship, the two met in a government subsidized building for performing artists in Hell's Kitchen in the 70's. For, what was it, $67/month, the two of them lived across the hall from one another, while pursuing their dreams of becoming stand up comedians. Larry, arguably succeeded, and Kenny... not so much.

Larry, the "comedian's comedian" finally caved and went into sitcom writing, partnering up with Jerry Seinfeld. Larry typically used real names of people he knew from New York, with the exception of the running joke of Art Vandelay, used in different forms throughout the series. Thankfully for everyone, Kenny Kramer made the cut and Michael Richards was cast for the role (to Kenny's deep disappointment).

Kenny figured, "Hell, I might as well capitalize on the success of this show, since my name was used." So, he started the Kenny Kramer Reality Tour, which was ultimately parodied on Seinfeld as the "J. Peterman Reality Tour". It's probably not worth elaborating on that statement. If you don't know anything about J. Peterman, I probably don't have much to talk to you about anyway.

Kenny has been running the tour for 15 years and still going strong.

Thanks to very perceptive sisters, I scored a reservation (in the form of a Christmas present) for two for this past Saturday. And let me say, it was a total dream. The only disappointments were that it wasn't in a school bus and there weren't pizza bagels or mini musketeers. But, I got a Vandelay Industries bumper sticker signed by Kenny, so I'm satisfied with $37.50 well-spent.

P.S. Can you spot Jon/me in the group photo?

Fighting for the Wrong Thing: -1 NYC & PHL

so apparently the thing to do now is rally against bicyclists, which you would assume is something only done in a utopian society.

nyc

yes it's true that efforts to remove bike lanes in brooklyn aren't that big of a deal, considering that awesome new greenway that is extending down kent ave. thing is awesome, with bike lanes going in both directions and parking separating pedestrians and bicyclists from the road way.

however, i gotta say the number of mini vans and buses and pedestrians that encroach on that bike lane in the hasidic neighborhood is kind of intense. but it's their neighborhood for sure.

is that bike lane necessary? could it be lived without? well yes, i mean of course. but it shouldn't have to be that way.

phl

it's also kind of crazy that in philadelphia (perhaps because bike lanes have been devouring parking on pine and spruce sts., and some bicyclists decided committing bicycular homicide is totally acceptable) they're now really bringing down the hammer.

anyways, philadelphia police are starting to completely destroy the meaning of what it means to ride a bicycle. and it's kind of laughable.

and i'm sure this will hit delivery men & messengers hardest, those most likely to go the wrong way on a one-way street or run lights, etc. but heck, i do all those things sometimes too.

biking has always been just a big game, until somebody got hurt.

Doctors' Office Waiting Rooms: -1 New York

A redundancy in this city I've noticed is the difficulty of making appointments. This includes reservations, interviews, and yes, doctor's appointments.

Not only are the good ones booked for months at a time, generally resulting in the agreement to see the doctor's assistant, but once you get there, you've still got a long way to go.

Just like in the famous Jerry Seinfeld bit, when your name is finally called, contain your excitement. You're not going to see the doctor. No. You're going to the smaller waiting room where you'll be waiting for at least another 40 minutes.

That 40 minutes is spent stuck inside one's own head: Have they forgotten about me? How much longer am I going to be trapped in this little room? What is that thing for? Are they going to use that on me? Should I take my clothes off?

And then they knock. They don't even wait for your answer. They just come barging in. Jesus, let me readjust this humiliating piece of paper you call a gown!

-1 NYC: Just read the article...

so I decided instead of doing the obvious of chalking up a -1 NYC for each Yankee loss, an unrelated subject should stand here in its stead.

i came across the following ny times article on bco:


park slope food co-op

i'm not sure whether to be more upset at the lady who wrote the article, the people that belong to the co-op, or just the entire idea of the whole thing.


"we get it lady. you are a poet. go spray water on the produce." -- poster on bco


also please refer to amazing illustration that accompanied that article.

Neutral Post

it seems that now everyone thinks this debate is good writing fodder.

it was really a no-brainer all along folks.

inky article

NYC vs. PHL Pt. 3

things are heating up